This isn't exactly so much something I did, but still something which very much is a part of who I am.
As I was washing the dishes after slaving all day making another batch of baby food for Caden, I noticed my mom looking at me funny.
Out of no where, she goes, "Sarah..."
"Yeah?" I respond, still scrubbing the dishes.
"You have a..." And she starts pointing at my rear end.
'Great' I think, 'I ripped my pants or something.'
Then she looks around to make sure no one's listening, leans towards me from across the room, and nearly mumbles, "You have a black butt."
It takes everything in me not to burst out laughing as I go "It's called a ghetto booty mom."
Yes I have always been bootylicious and proud.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Orangesicle Slushie and Shopping Carts
My brother and I decide to go to Walmart tonight. We have a few items to pick up, a little time to kill, and my mother's debit card to burn. It was going to be a lovely trip.
I have my Sonic orangesicle sluchie drink in my hand walking in through the automated doors. I go to grab a cart, and realize I have items in my other hand as well. Doing the only logical thing I can think of, I lift the drink to my mouth, grab hold of the straw with my lips, and let go of the drink to reach for the cart.
Yeah. You guessed it.
*splat*
Orange slushie went everywhere.
My reaction.
*blink* "That was stupid."
Then I took the straw out of my mouth and picked up the slushie cup and put the straw back through the top of the drink and grabbed a different cart.
I have my Sonic orangesicle sluchie drink in my hand walking in through the automated doors. I go to grab a cart, and realize I have items in my other hand as well. Doing the only logical thing I can think of, I lift the drink to my mouth, grab hold of the straw with my lips, and let go of the drink to reach for the cart.
Yeah. You guessed it.
*splat*
Orange slushie went everywhere.
My reaction.
*blink* "That was stupid."
Then I took the straw out of my mouth and picked up the slushie cup and put the straw back through the top of the drink and grabbed a different cart.
D to the E...
Two days ago my brother was writing a paper and asked me how to spell "delicious".
Now, those of you who KNOW me know I cannot spell for the life of me. In fact, I once told my dad that the only way I was able to correctly spell words, was to spell them in a way that looked wrong to me and I'd know they were right. Most correctly spelled words look like they're misspelled to me. Add it to the vault of "Sarah-isms" and let's move on.
So I stare at him for a minute and reply:
"D"
Pause
"e"
long pause
"Oh! D - to the E to the L I C I O U S"
My brother looks at me like I've lost it and asks "What?"
I calmly reply "d to the e to the l i c i o u s ya know, the Fergie song?"
He types the word out and we both return to our former activities.
And then it took me another day and a half before I burst out laughing at how retarted that was.
Now, those of you who KNOW me know I cannot spell for the life of me. In fact, I once told my dad that the only way I was able to correctly spell words, was to spell them in a way that looked wrong to me and I'd know they were right. Most correctly spelled words look like they're misspelled to me. Add it to the vault of "Sarah-isms" and let's move on.
So I stare at him for a minute and reply:
"D"
Pause
"e"
long pause
"Oh! D - to the E to the L I C I O U S"
My brother looks at me like I've lost it and asks "What?"
I calmly reply "d to the e to the l i c i o u s ya know, the Fergie song?"
He types the word out and we both return to our former activities.
And then it took me another day and a half before I burst out laughing at how retarted that was.
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